The Joy of Sexism

The Sexist Book of Records etc.

Written, designed and illustrated by Simon Donald, Graham Dury and Simon Thorp
Sid the Sexist, star of 'The Joy of Sexism'

The World of Women


The aftermath of Viz's Worst Woman Driver Competition

Car repairs

The largest bill for fictitious work carried out on a woman’s car by garage mechanics was one of £6322.88 charged by Joskin Bros. Motors Ltd. of Stevenage. Calling in for a routine service on her one year old Peugot 305, Mrs. June Spears agreed to pay for, amongst other things, new trumpets (£752), cracked Gangle pin (£1785), realignment of main glib shaft (£2268), new grommets (£112), set of hexagonal Tag nuts and dangleberry adapter (£35) and new piss-take valves (£120). No work was actually carried out on the car during the six weeks it spent at the garage but 4000 miles was put on the clock and she later received a speeding summons from Italian police.

Traffic light cosmetics

The longest spell spent oblivious to traffic lights whilst applying make-up was one of 1 hr 51 mins 38 secs by Ms. Janet Dodson (GB) at a road junction in the centre of Preston on the 1st August 1975. Ms. Dodson, a piano teacher, beautified herself through 212 cycles of the lights, creating a tailback of irate motorists stretching 28 miles towards Leeds.

    Record traffic jam caused by a woman beautifying herself at traffic lights
Right: A section of the 28 mile grid lock caused by Janet Dodson in August 1975.


The Viz Softest Porn Competition winner       


Video Lesbianism

The longest period of time that two women in a pornographic film have sat together on a settee without starting to fondle each other is 8.3 seconds in the 1994 low budget production ‘Strap on Sally, Vol. 3’ (US). The longest a woman has sat alone on a settee without starting to fondle herself is 5.2 secs in the same film.


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Huff Longevity

The longest recorded huff taken by a woman was one of 57 years 9 months 8 days by Mrs Glenda Bavington (GB). Following a misunderstanding over a sausage roll and an egg sandwich at a New Years Eve party in 1936, she went into a huff with her sister Betty and didn’t talk to her again until their father’s funeral on 8th October 1994. Despite working alongside each other on the bakery counter of the local Co-op in Aberystwyth, Dyfed for the first forty years of the record, Mrs. Bavington looked straight through her sister and pretended she wasn’t there. At a New Years Eve party in 1994, the subject of the sausage roll was brought up again and the huff recommenced, lasting until Betty’s death earlier this year.


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The greatest amount of Australian soaps watched in a a single eight hour day without getting out of the chair was 34 hrs 28 mins by Mrs. Rita Cunliff (GB). This record was achieved using five television sets and three video recorders on 22nd January 1996. When Mrs. Cunliff’s husband returned from work he had to make his own tea.


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Please help Stanley, he's a twat and can't help it. Think of him when you're on the job

From The Joy of Sexism (undated), John Broon Publishing Ltd., London.

See also British World Records

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